the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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