Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You ate ashes out of my bong
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
