I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
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just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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