like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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