My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He did a backflip because drugs
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