Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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