So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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