do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
