so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The best revenge is premature balding
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
