I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
