Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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