Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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