U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
