so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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