Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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