who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
