we have officially lost it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
