dude i'm inner monologue high
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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