Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize