Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
