I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
