we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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