I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize