so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
