I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
