lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
