is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
