I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
try to milk me bitch
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
