I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize