I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
