What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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