You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
