dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
