If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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