All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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