Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
