Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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