I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
