i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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