I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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