oh god the rape fog is back!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I've blown a few things in my day
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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