Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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