I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
birth control should be required to get into college
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
