Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My liver just broke up with me...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
