the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I've blown a few things in my day
I checked into jail on foursquare
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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