I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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