so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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