I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
