She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
