Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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