What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize