Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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