So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
