I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
