I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
