guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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