I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
