me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
