Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
