I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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