Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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