Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
